6 or 7 Popes: the blog

Anglo-Saxophones

2009-06-29T19:31:00.002-04:00

Here's a brand new mini-strip for you. Check out the new Character Page and About Page!

Bum-Ba-Bummmm! It's Vaticanews!

2009-06-27T19:24:00.002-04:00

Greetings,

As promised, here's a weekend edition of Vaticanews:

Vaticanews 06/27/09

BULLETINS:
Vatican Denies that Benedict Made a Reasonable Decision
Last week, the Vatican inexplicably issued a statement condemning a claim made by Rev. Peter Gumpel which was neither negative nor untrue. Gumpel believes that Pope Benedict is delaying the beatification of Pope Pius XII to preserve relationships with the world's Jewish population. Pius was pontiff during the Holocaust, you see, and if becoming a saint wasn't difficult enough, being accused of not doing enough to stop Hitler is bound to further complicate things. So it seems reasonable that Benedict would take his time with this one. In fact, at a conference last October, Benedict said he would give "serious consideration" to freezing the sainthood process until Pius' archives could be opened and fully examined (which will take years). But just because the Pope says it doesn't mean the Vatican has to agree.
(source= The Washington Post)

Thunderstorms: No Match For Jesus or Modern Air Travel
Last Sunday, Pope Benedict XVI was all set to take a helicopter (holycopter?) to the burial site of St. Padre Pio, when a sudden thunderstorm made the trip impossible. But the Pope wasn't about to be bested by some random act of God, so he took a plane instead. Once he arrived, Benedict gave a speech which included the Gospel story of Jesus calming a storm to make a journey of his own. Presumably Jesus would've just gotten on a plane, too, if he hadn't already been out at sea when the bad weather began. The real point of Benedict's trip was to honor St. Padre Pio, but we didn't have anything to say about that, so we're focussing on the storm.
(source= Catholic News Service)

HEADLINES:
Vatican Daily Paper Pulls a Serious WTF
Michael Jackson's death on Thursday has been claiming countless headlines, as is to be expected. But who could've imagine that L'Osservatore Romano, the Vatican's official daily newspaper, would have something to say about it? Not only that, but what they had to say is actually quite bizarre.
Let's start with this quote: "But will he really be dead? It wouldn't be surprising if, in a few years, he was spotted in a gas station in Memphis, perhaps with his former father-in-law, Elvis Presley." Yes, L'Osservatore Romano, it most certainly would be surprising, it just wouldn't be more surprising than that sentence. And it doesn't stop there. The article also discussed when Jackson "was still black", as well as his racial "crossover" saying, "maybe [he] didn't simply want to become white, but to transcend boundaries, even artistic ones, imposed by ethnic identities." Nevermind that Jackson always attributed his change in complexion to a skin condition, L'Osservatore Romano calls 'em like they sees 'em.
But the biggest question here is: why did this article get written at all? There's no article on Ed McMahon or Farrah Fawcett. What particular interest does the Catholic world have with Michael Jackson's death? Perhaps it's solidarity amongst alleged pedophiles. Alleged. Pedophiles.
(sources= Inquirer.net & Reuters)

New Space Pope

2009-06-25T21:56:00.002-04:00

What it is?

It's been a long time since we've heard from Space Pope, but luckily she's back and just as hard-hitting as ever. Check her new post here.

And come back this weekend for a new Vaticanews, mini-strip, and who knows what else?

Much love,
Y&W P

Va-Va-Va-Vaticanews

2009-06-18T22:28:00.015-04:00

Friends! Enemies! Strangers! Listen up close!

Here's a new Vaticanews to satisfy your craving:

Vaticanews 06/18/09

BULLETINS:
Villanova's Virtual Vatican Visit
It doesn't matter who you are, using the Internet is easier than traveling to Italy. Which is why Villanova University is using both its technological know-how and its long-standing relationship with the Catholic church to cut out the middle man with virtual tours of the Vatican's holiest hot spots. Not only that, but the tours allow users to zoom in on things they couldn't see with the naked eye, which means that going to the Vatican in real life may soon be a disappointing experience when held up against the virtual version. Much like how the Internet has affected sex, shopping, and academic research.
(source= The Philadelphia Inquirer)

How Chris West Makes Catholicism Kinky
Chris West has no official authority in the Catholic world but that doesn't stop him from telling couples to pray over each other's genitalia, urging Catholics to rediscover the Virgin Mary's "abundant breasts," and condoning anal sex as long as it precedes traditional intercourse. West is the author of Good News about Sex and Marriage, a book which attempts to combat the shame and fear he thinks many Catholics feel about their sexual desires. Or maybe all it does it attempt to be provocative and bizarre enough to give West his fifteen minutes. Like when he blesses women's ovaries at seminars. Or the "very profound historical connections" he sees between John Paul II and Hugh Hefner. Or the rest of his career.
(source= Slate)

HEADLINES:
Benedict Starts "Year of the Priest" Celebrations with Angry Letter
Pope Benedict XVI has declared that June 2009-June 2010 will be the Year of the Priest. China had already declared that 2009 was the Year of the Ox, but lucky for Benedict, these are not mutually exclusive.
What does it mean to have a Year of the Priest? For one, St. John Vianney is finally getting promoted from patron saint of parish priests to patron saint of priests worldwide. And next June, St. Peter's Square is set to host the World Meeting of Priests, which ought to be the party of the century. Problem is, Benedict's cracking down on moral corruption. Pope Buzzkill XVI.
Benedict published a letter today asking for "frank and complete acknowledgement" of the Church's mistakes. The pontiff never directly referenced any one of a myriad of priest-related scandals in recent years: child abuse, controversial abortions, denying the Holocaust. Instead, he frankly and completely acknowledged that there have been "situations which can never be sufficiently deplored." He is of course, right about these situations, and right to try and stop them, but you must admit that forcing priests to man up to their mistakes is hardly the way to kick off the Year of the Priest festivities. Not even so much as a pizza party at the roller rink? Tough love, Benedict. Tough love.
(sources= Catholic News Service & Associated Press)

"Washing Their Fleet"

2009-06-14T20:47:00.004-04:00

Vaticanews Returns

2009-06-11T19:31:00.004-04:00

Welcome, blog fans!

Well, we're finally settling down here in Austin, and adjusting to the heat. It's been a long while since we checked in on current papal events, however, so here's a brand new Vaticanews for ya:

Vaticanews 06/11/09

BULLETINS:
Hokey Religions and Ancient Weapons Still no Match for a Good Blaster by Your Side
Close your eyes and imagine George Lucas. Then open your eyes to read this, and close them again to re-imagine George Lucas...as an archbishop! Looks awesome, doesn't it? Well, you're wrong, because we weren't talking about the beloved beard behind Star Wars, we meant sixty-year-old clergyman George Lucas, the newly-appointed archbishop of Omaha, NE. Same name, different legacy. Now close your eyes and imagine if it actually was George Lucas the director, and what a cathedral full of alien puppets might look like.
Special thanks to God, and Industrial Lights & Magic, for making this post possible.
(source= Vatican Radio)

Vatican Confesses its Displeasure with People's Displeasure with Confession
In an interview last week, Archbishop Mauro Piacenza lamented the fact that fewer and fewer Catholics are coming to confession. At first this seems like good news, because a drop in confessions might come from a drop in sinning. However, the most recent numbers on worldwide sin don't support this theory. Piacenza blames it on people confusing confession with "the couch of a psychologist or a psychiatrist," but this seems like an easy distinction for people to make. Priests never prescribe Prozac, for example, and therapists rarely wear collars. It's possible people are drawn to the comfort of a couch over cramped wooden confessionals, but that could be overcome with a few knee pillows. So now one question remains: is there room in the Vatican's budget for knee pillows? More on that as the story develops.
(source= Associated Press)

HEADLINES:
Even the Pope Confused by God's Choices
If there's one thing God is known for, it's His mysterious ways. Classic examples include the platypus, Carrot Top, why people have to die, and the box office success of Beverly Hills Chihuahua. But in a recent discussion with a group of 7,000 children, Pope Benedict XVI expressed his confusion over a smaller, more personal matter. He wondered why, out of all the people in the world, God hired him for the position of Pope.
Benedict's bafflement comes not from a lack of desire to be pontiff, but because he finds it surprising that he was even on God's radar at all. Growing up in a tiny German village, Benedict never dreamed he could be Pope. He and his childhood friends saw the Pope at the time, Pope Pius XI, as being "unreachable, almost of another world." Like an alien lord whose futuristic technologies they would never have access to.
Almost eighty years later, Benedict finds himself piloting the mothership. While he is, of course, honored, he says even today it's hard for him to understand why he was chosen. God has yet to release a statement explaining the decision, but then again, God hardly ever publishes anything official. If there's another thing He's known for, it's keeping His mysterious ways mysterious.
(source= Catholic News Service)

"Bath Robe"

2009-06-02T13:20:00.003-04:00

Gizzizah everybody,

There's a mini-strip below that we would have liked to have put up sunday, but as we speak some of us are in the process of moving from Boston, MA, to Austin, TX. We are only allowed to move to places that rhyme. Which would stink if we live in Orange City, FL. Hopefully once we settle down in Austin, there will be fewer delays. Look for another full color strip next Sunday!

The Splog-Vaticanews Connection

2009-05-28T17:20:00.003-04:00

Ever vigilant, Space Pope has updated her blog again. And as per tradition, here's a Vaticanews to accompany it:

Vaticanews 05/28/09

BULLETINS:
The Feud Thickens
Inexplicably, L'Osservatore Romano took time off from its religious reportage today to include an article praising Barcelona's soccer team. Entitled Football, Finally the piece referred to the team's performance against Manchester United as a "lesson in style." A prime example of fair, evenhanded journalistic favoritism. Like a soccer player who uses his hands, L'Osservatore Romano broke a basic newspaper rule with their bias. And like so many aggravated soccer referees, we at Vaticanews must once again call foul on the Vatican's semi-official paper. It is quickly becoming the Regis Philbin to our Dave Letterman, the Milli Vanilli to our Arsenio Hall.
(source= USA Today)

The Economy Loves all its Children Equally
If we are to believe the hype, most priests are already dangerously old. But the hype also tells us that the world's economy is less than ideal right now, and this affects even the Vatican, which reported a $14-million deficit in 2007. So, to keep from paying benefits just a smidge longer, the church is raising the retirement age by two years for officials below the rank of bishop. Maybe what they should do is add some danger to the job: fresh crusades, deep=space mission trips, taller bell towers. Then fewer priests would survive until retirement. Works for the C.I.A.
(source=beliefnet)

HEADLINES:
The Counting of Monte Cassinos (There have been five)
Some places are just cursed: first it's a nail salon, then it's a dry cleaner, then a Thai restaurant, then a fortuneteller/whorehouse. No business lasts more than a few weeks, but the ominous building remains, silently waiting to devour its next victim. The Abbey of Monte Cassino has the opposite problem. It's been a Catholic monastery for nearly 1500 years, but the structure itself has been completely demolished four times.
Pope Benedict XVI visited the abbey on Sunday for the 65th anniversary of its most recent rebuilding, after the U.S. military bombed it in 1944 based on some faulty intelligence. It is significant place for Benedict, because it was founded by his namesake, Saint Benedict of Nursia, famous for writing the Rule of Saint Benedict and forming the Benedictine Order. Clearly, a man who didn't mind things being named after him.
And in keeping with this things-named-after-men tradition, the Mayor of Cassino announced that, in honor the visit, the town's Miranda Square would be renamed Pope Benedict XVI Square. Kind of like when Aunt Miranda had those surgeries with Dr. Cassino and became Uncle Ben.
(source=Communio)

"Burrito Machine"

2009-05-25T00:18:00.004-04:00

The Dyanmic Duo: Space Pope & Vaticanews

2009-05-20T10:16:00.014-04:00

Hail!

So we're fully operational again, and it feels great. And to help us pack the biggest punch we can as we return, Space Pope updated her blog again, and there's a fresh dose of Vaticanews below.

Also, a quick thanks to Warren Ellis, who picked us as a favorite of his from Webcomics Week on his site. We're totally honored.

Sleet,
You & What Producitons

Vaticanews 05/20/09

BULLETINS:
Bruni says "Peace, Bitches!" to the Catholic Church
French First Lady Carla Bruni "casued uproar" when she said she had decided to bail on Catholicism because of Pope Benedict's position on condom distribution in Africa."It is not the job of a First Lady, especially one who was baptized Catholic, to attack the Pope," said a Notre Dame official. It is, apparently, the job of the Belgian Parliament, which voted 95-18 to publicly and officially denounce Pope Benedict's comments last month (when they were news). The reaction then: shock, but respect. Evidently only entire nations are on the Pope's political tier. But hey, bravo to Carla Bruni for lone-gunning it. Can former supermodels become real-life superheroes? They can't be blamed for trying.
(source= Fox News)

Ok, NOW I'm Getting an iPhone!
Everyone's excited for World Communications Day this Sunday, but it just gets better and better. Turns out the Vatican is launching a Facebook and an iPhone application in conjunction with the holiday as a part of their new website www.pope2you.net. "The Pope Meets You on Facebook" will allow users to send and receive virtual postcards of the Pope at last. And for the iPhone, radio and video reports on the Pope available in eight different languages. That's how many languages a language spider has. All of this will connect to the YouTube channel the Vatican already has, which is all very neat and either raises feelings of I can't wait to see what's next or When will it stop? depending on who you are.
(source= The Catholic Spirit)

HEADLINES:
Vaticanews Simultaneously Praises and Criticizes Vatican Newspaper for Doing the Same to Obama (Below)
In a stroke of dazzling genius, Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano ran two contradictory articles about President Obama in it's May 18 issue. The first (Obama in Search for Common Ground) is about Obama's recent speech at Notre Dame, and highlights his trying to downplay the stem cell/abortion issue during his administration and focus on people unifying in spite of their differences. Then WHAM-O! A few pages later is an article (Campaign in the US Against Stem Cells) supporting U.S. bishops fighting Obama's recent stem cell policy, and harshly criticizing the President for his positions. It's the kind of ballsy journalism you just can't find anymore.
And we call foul! Make up your mind, L'Osservatore Romano, if that's even your real name. There's no need to be backhanded about it, putting the nice article out in front for the limited-Latin readers and saving the meaty bits in the middle for the true fans. Why not just make the negative piece longer, in a larger font, and/or littered with pics? Show your true colors, you lying scum. Crawl out from under your rock and let the sunshine of honesty temporarily blind you.
Of course, it is hilarious. Adding confusion to an already dense issue. Keeping people in the dark about how the Vatican really feels. Classic L'O-Ro. Classic.
(source= Catholic News Agency)

They Have Their Reasons

2009-05-18T19:20:00.005-04:00

Here's a new mini strip for your viewing pleasure:

The Beast in the Middle East: Day 7 (The Beast is Deceased)

2009-05-15T14:13:00.006-04:00

Today Pope Benedict XVI wraps up his eight-day unvacation in the Middle East. How did he do? What were his successes and failures? What difference did he make, and where do we go from here? These are impossibly large quesitons, of course, but that won't keep the media, local residents, and others with opinions from trying to answer them. So we thought we'd take a swing at it ourselves: YES.
With that out of the way, our attentions return to Rome and the tiny Catholic nation it houses. Certainly Pope Benedict must be looking forward to bringing the controversy and political chaos of the papacy back home where it belongs, and we're all excited to see him do so.
(source= Radio Netherlands)

The Beast in the Middle East: Day 6 ([Parenthetical joke])

2009-05-14T14:24:00.001-04:00

At the center of the Israel-Palestine conflict is an issue as old and delicate as a Grandmother's bones: construction. For example, Pope Benedict's visit to the Aida Palestinian refugee camp yesterday should've included a large stage from which he could speak, but the Israeli government prevented it due to a lack of permits. Also, the stage was labeled a security risk because the Aida camp is right next to the 25-foot concrete wall which Israel built on the West Bank. Benedict wasn't a fan of the enormous structure, and expressed his dislike openly, saying, "Even if walls can be easily built, we know they don't last forever. They can be demolished." He then added something about the walls around our hearts, but that's a bunch of new-age malarky which won't offend anyone, so we won't bother quoting it here.
(source= Click On Detroit)

The Beast in the Middle East: Day 5 (Confession: We don't know who The Beast is. It just rhymes.)

2009-05-13T11:39:00.008-04:00

Passing notes can be a fun way of finding a prom date, spreading rumors, or cheating on an exam. But who would've imagined it could also be used to end generations of war in the Middle East? Well, when the note-passer is Pope Benedict XVI and the note-receiver is God, it just might do the trick. Yesterday, Benedict visited the Western Wall in Jerusalem, an important Jewish religious site, and placed a letter of prayer inside one of the wall's cracks, as per tradition. In it, he called on the Holy Father to ease the suffering of Middle Eastern people specifically, as well as sad humans everywhere. However, he baffled many by asking God at the end of the note, "Do you like like me? Circle one: Yes, No, Maybe."
(source= The Jerusalem Post)

The Beast in the Middle East: Day 4 (Yeast, Fleeced, Creased, Priest)

2009-05-12T13:03:00.005-04:00

Don't you hate it when you're trying to host a dialogue on unity and peace and then someone interrupts with a speech about how Israel is desecrating Palestinian culture? Well, so does Pope Benedict XVI, whose meeting with various clergymen in Jerusalem was cut short by a militant anti-Israel diatribe from Sheikh Taysir al-Tamimi. While it did prematurely end the meeting, it did not prevent the traditional exchange of gifts from taking place afterwards. Kind of like how Dad's drunken rants can spoil dinner on Christmas Eve, but cannot ruin the joy of a fresh G.I. Joe the next morning.
(source= Ynet News)

The Beast in the Middle East: Day 3 ("The Beast" also does not refer to Patrick Swayze's A&E show)

2009-05-11T15:15:00.004-04:00

Some months ago, Israel announced its multi-language website http://popeinisrael.org.il/ about Pope Benedict's current visit. But the Internet wasn't satiated, so yesterday The Consulate General of Israel launched a Facebook application called "Holy Land Trivia: From Creation to Creativity" to coincide with Benedict's arrival in Israel. Along with pictures of the country and a comments section, the application features several educational multiple choice quizzes. There are two subjects (Holy Sites in Israel and Modern Israel) and three difficulty levels (Easy, Medium, and Brave!) which determine the number of the randomly-generated questions. And whoever wrote these questions weren't afraid to ask the big ones. Did the Ayyubids or the Nabateans build Perta and Ovdat? Is it Judo or Windsurfing in which Israel holds its one Olympic gold medal? Do Christians, Jews, Muslims, or all three live in modern Nazareth? They're certianly frustrating, but you can never have too many obnoxious Facebook apps.
(source= The Jerusalem Post)

The Beast in the Middle East: Day 2 (So, who IS the Beast? More on that later)

2009-05-10T12:22:00.012-04:00

Today is the last day of Pope Benedict's time in mostly-Muslim Jordan, and tomorrow he arrives in mostly-Jewish Israel. And while he was fairly unpopular in Jordan, Israel may be home of the largest security risk and lowest approval rating Benedict will face during his entire papacy. Benedict has made a few small missteps when it comes to Jewish-Catholic relations, from his past with the Hitler Youth, to earlier this year when he revoked the excommunication of a bishop who denies the Holocaust. So now Israel is fearful of an attempt on the pope's life.The solution? Four German armored cars will be replacing the pope mobile for most of the Israel visit, and there's been discussion of arresting some more serious Israeli zealots ahead of time, as a preemptive strike. Rolling through town in armored German vehicles and arresting known Jews even if they've done nothing wrong... sounds familiar somehow, but it'll probably be fine.
(source=The Times Online)

The Beast in the Middle East: Day 1 (No disrespect, Pope Benedict is not "The Beast")

2009-05-09T13:34:00.003-04:00

It's not a conflict many people know about, but in this modern world many of the major religions don't get along as well as they used to, and the Catholic church is no exception. Also three years ago Benedict quoted a Medieval text which called some of Muhammad's teachings "evil and inhumane," so a healthy portion of the Muslim world is miffed at the pontiff. Easing this tension is one of the pope's primary goals on his Middle East tour, and at Jordan's Hussein bin Talal Mosque today he expressed his deep regret for his previous statements. However, this apology failed to satisfy many in the Muslim community, so all hope is lost. Tomorrow we'll see where Benedict stands in with Jews.
(source=The Wall Street Journal)

Holy Land Ho!

2009-05-08T22:13:00.003-04:00

Hello and welcome,

Pope Benedict XVI arrived in Jordan today for the beginning of his week-long tour of the Middle East. And while he's not using the pope mobile for much of the trip (it's not safe enough), he will have an 80,000-man security force ("Operation White Cloak"). Not to mention his most powerful weapon: a message of peace. For the next week, we'll be bringing you daily Vaticanews briefs on all the zany antics the pope gets himself into as he moves through Jordan, Israel, and other war-torn nations in which Catholics are a minority.

Stay tuned

-You and What Productions

Splog! News! Huzzah!

2009-05-06T14:40:00.010-04:00

Word up, guns down.

Space Pope returns to her blog today with a post that's educational, informational and, if you pay attention, just might teach you something.

Also, history in the making with a new Vaticanews, below.

Vaticanews 05/06/09

BULLETINS:
He Thinks the Pope is a "Bigger Annoyance"
Australia has produced plenty of obnoxious people: Mel Gibson, Rupert Murdoch, and anyone with the word "crocodile" in their moniker. But last July, Ian Bryce added himself to the list in a more down-to-earth way—he built a fake pope mobile and drove it up and down the streets of Sydney in protest of the Pope's visit, getting himself arrested for "distracting motorists." This wimpy charge was ultimately dropped last week, and Bryce now claims his action counts as a win for free speech. A spokesperson for free speech, however, said that they had plenty of notches in their belt bigger and deeper than Bryce's traffic stunt.
(source=ABC NEWS)

Cardinal John Henry Newman, Dead for More than a Century, Cures MA Man's Back
A panel of theologians who investigate the legitimacy of miracles recently voted that John Sullivan of Quincy, MA did, in fact, have his crippling spine pain cured through prayer. Cardinal John Henry Newman, to whom Sullivan prayed in 2001, is being given credit for the miracle, which puts him one step closer to sainthood. So everybody wins, except the doctors, who have yet to figure out a medical explanation for Sullivan's cure and may be forced to reassess some of their fundamental spinal assumptions.
(source=The Patriot Ledger)

HEADLINES:
Canada Copies America, Pope Apologizes
When somebody says "Native Canadian" what do you think? Red suit, broad hat, horse? Plaid shirt, axe, ham? Moose, grizzly bears, fish? Eh?
Well, it turns out that "Native Canadian" means exactly the same thing as "Native American," complete with the stripping of culture and special religious schools which abused their students both emotionally and sexually. And just like in the States, Native Canadians demand and deserve apologies. Now, because some three-quarters of these special schools were, way back when, run by Catholic missionary congregations, the church has already paid around $79 million in compensation. But money can't buy me (or anyone else) love, and so last Wednesday, as the first official example of "institutional regret" over the issue, Pope Benedict offered an apology to a group of former Native Canadian students. Benedict expressed his personal anguish, and the Vatican released a statement calling for "renewed hope" for the victims of these atrocities. The Pope also blessed the various pipes, blankets, moccasins, etc. which were presented to him as gifts. Some of these stayed in the Vatican, and some returned, freshly blessed, to Canada, where they will either help the healing process or, at the very least, earn their owners bragging rights.
National chief of the Assembly of First Nations Phil Fontaine said the group left, "happy and comforted." Not to mention that they certainly must appreciate the media letting the world know that there is such a thing as a Native Canadian, and making us sympathetic to their cause. It's easy. Just take the white guilt you already feel about Native Americans and spread it to the north.
(source=Yahoo!News)

Those be the updates for today, but Benedict begins his week-long trip to the Holy Land on Friday, so swing by soon for some hard-hitting Vaticanews coverage of that. And our main strip should be updating again within the week, so eyes peeled and fingers crossed, everyone!

Love to all,
-Y&W P

A Review and a Rant

2009-04-29T19:18:00.015-04:00

INFINITY! INFINITY!
Hi. First of all, head over to Chocolate Pope's blog. It's where all the peeps at.

Secondly, a book review for your pleasure:

If you feel scandalized by Pope Benedict's recent comments about condom distribution, then stay away from Nigel Cawthorne's quick and clear book Sex Lives of the Popes. If you are some sort of sexual historian, however, then you should be on this book like Jesus on Mary Magdalene. (That sentence written by Dan Brown.)
(Disclaimer: what follows may be highly scandalizing.) From a brothel purchased in Jesus' name to syphilis in the Vatican, from naked boys in large puddings to popes participating in underage incest, Cawthorne's book is an unapologetic catalog of debauchery. At times hilarious and always irreverent, Sex Lives finds most of its humor not in Cawthorne's thoughts or comments, but in the ridiculousness of the examples he skillfully provides: a fifteen-year-old boy who dies from an "excess of intercourse"; women who faint at confession only to be raped by their confessors; and the mind-boggling Joust of the Whores, where some fifty prostitutes came before Pope Alexander VI and stripped, competed on all fours to collect chestnuts, and were then "carnally attacked" by cardinals and other male guests. "Whoever had sex with the greatest number of prostitutes won a prize," Cawthorne writes in his typical manner-of-fact voice.
While sex and sexuality is his focus, Cawthorne doesn't limit himself. Murder, theft, bribery, torture, and lies of the boldest face saturate the book's pages. Not to mention the time Pope Stephen VI had his predecessor's corpse dug up, dressed up, and placed on trial for "perjury and coveting the papacy." What do you call that kind of activity? Necrojurisprudence, maybe.
By the time Sex Lives ends, basilicas have collapsed, lightning has hit the Vatican, and a woman may or may not have taken the papal throne for a time. All of this plus an incredibly handy timeline of all the popes which have ever been (as far as current records can tell us, anyway). It makes for a fast-paced and fascinating read, whether you're interested in the church's history or not, because Cawthorne isn't writing about popes, he's writing about people. Utterly crazy and powerful people doing evil and sexual things. And that much, at least, is universal.
Sex Lives of the Popes on Amazon
And check out Nigel Cawthormne's website here

We hope to bring you more pope-related book, film, and multi-media art installation reviews, so send us your suggestions.

Peace Buggy, no Peace Back!
-Y&W P

Updates

2009-04-26T16:31:00.008-04:00

Followers and Newcomers! Welcome! Welcome to all!

Today brings us a fresh Space Pope Blog post, and, as per usual, we're pairing it up with the latest Vaticanews:

Vaticanews 04/26/09

BULLETINS:
"Unlock the Secrets of How Men Become Pope" (All it takes are a few rolls of the dice)
If Oregon Trail II taught us anything (other than the details of everyday life on the Oregon Trail) it's that educational games based on the real-life struggles of other people are just more fun. Enter VATICAN The Board Game, a collection of cards, dice, and tiny paper cardinals which simulates the actual career challenges any papal hopeful must face to become elected. Virtually everything's included, from taking a stand on controversial issues to dealing with the complexities of an actual papal election process. Created in 2006 by Dr. Stephen Haliczer, a history professor, VATICAN has each of its players select a cardinal and then compete against each other for position on the board. Then, when the old Pope dies, players further compete against each other to be elected in his place. Sound like a complicated headache in a box? Well, nobody said becoming Pope was easy, but Dr. Haliczer says it can be fun.
source= VATICAN The Board Game

Matters of Size
Cardinal Antonio Maria Rouco Varela has a big dream, a 25,000-square-meters dream, and that dream's name is "The Mini-Vatican". Or, some people are calling it that, anyway. Varela plans to construct an enormous clerical complex in Madrid, complete with a three-storey residence and 200 priest-exclusive parking spaces, sometime in the next few years. The problem? He wants to build it on one of the few remaining large green spaces in Spain's capital, and as is typically the case when somebody wants to start a giant construction project like this, many of the city's residents are against it. In a city which already has many churches and suffers from lack of housing and parking, a new religious complex on top of centuries-old gardens is not, some claim, entirely necessary. But because the city council and the church are both in favor of the project thus far, chances are it's going to happen. To steal a closing sentiment from our source article: the only move opponents of the "Mini-Vatican" have left is to pray for some kind of miracle.
source=Monsters and Critics

HEADLINES:
It's Funny Because it Isn't True at All
In recent headlines, the Vatican, as a political body, has come off as something of a snob. The most recent and extreme example came out earlier this week and claimed that, as a backhanded sort of gift for Prince Charles, Pope Benedict would give him a "luxury facsimile" of a 1530 appeal by Pope Clement VII as a reminder of the church's disapproval of divorce and of marrying divorcees. Charles is himself a divorcee, as is his wife, Camilla.
The thing is, this story is actually a lie, and the Vatican had it retracted the day it went into print. Apparently, the blame in this case falls on a writer for the UK Times named Richard Owen, who evidently has a reputation for reporting unfounded stories which might occur, and occasionally, through sheer probability, he ends up predicting the truth. A sort of Miss Cleo for the Vatican press corps.
Owen is an extreme example of a common problem, however. English-language news media don't often assign reporters to the Vatican, which means most news stories written in English actually come from Italian translations, and things can get quite muddled. Also, because of how lightly papal news is taken, the reporters who do write about it are very rarely the most skilled or detail-oriented, and are often actually quite unskilled liars and miscreants which, again, leads to muddling.
What lesson is to be gained from this mass media misstep? Perhaps it serves as a microcosmic example of the larger problem with modern-day news and its need for sensationalism and scandal trumping its supposed devotion to accuracy more and more. Or perhaps it can simply remind us all that Vaticanews, right here in front of your eyes on the 6 or 7 Popes blog, is the most reliable source of Pope info in the known universe, a shimmering lazer-guided wonderboat amidst a fleet of kayaks with busted oars and blind one-armed rowers. Stay on board, folks. There's a lot of ocean left to traverse.
source= National Post

Chocolate Pope's Blog Launch and First Fan Art Ever

2009-04-19T21:54:00.004-04:00

Poooopes,

Quite a busy day of rest for the 6 or 7 internets. In addition to the new vaticanews, Chocolate Pope launched his blog, and Space Pope updated her blog.

Also, we received pictures of the first ever 6 or 7 Popes fan art

This beautiful clay statue of Chocolate Pope was made by Sandra Denton of Chicago, Illinois. If you look closely you'll notice that in the picture behind the statue, Chocolate Pope is purple. You win this time, Secret Brotherhood of Printers Conspiring to Ruin Students' Lives.

-Y&W P

Vaticanews is Bigger than Ever (And Space Pope's Back Again)

2009-04-19T20:43:00.010-04:00

Greetings,

Space Pope just updated her blog again, which you can read here.

And because today's a big day for PBXVI, here's the third installment of Vaticanews:

Vaticanews 04/19/09

BULLETINS:
— Anniversaries Abound!
April is a big month for Pope Benedict XVI, who celebrated his 82nd birthday on Thursday, and who, today, celebrates the fourth anniversary of his election to the pontificate on April 19, 2005. The birthday party was a quiet, private event, which is atypical of papal events, but it's his party and he can invite just a few friends and his older brother if he wants to. And for his Benedict's birthday last year, President Bush had a choir sing "Happy Birthday" on the White House lawn, so this year provided as a less noisy, less international contrast. Nice for Benedict, but kind of a bummer for American TV news.
(source=http://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/europe/news/article_1471168.php/Pope_Benedict_XVI_spends_82nd_birthday_resting_)

— Paraguayan President and Former Bishop Also Former Sinner
Fernando Lugo, President of Paraguay, admitted recently that while still a Roman Catholic bishop he'd had an affair a woman named Viviana Carrillo, and that affair had produced a son. This was, naturally, quite a shocking announcement, but Lugo ruined the scandalous mood by very seriously promising to take full responsibility of the child, and then refusing to comment further so he could focus on his presidency. It was offensively decent and honest, this attitude, and not at all becoming of a man who supposedly slept with a woman and had an illegitimate child while employed by the church. Hopefully, he'll make a fresh mistake soon, and we'll be able to pounce on that.
(source=http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jjbPzVkmGnEQa5_DKeXXiHroX1pgD97HSASO0)

— As if God Making the Sun Wasn't Enough
It's hard to imagine the Vatican providing the world with anything other than messages of hope, unity, and the Bible, but in five years it may also generate and export electricity for itself and much of the rest of Rome. The Vatican, one of the smallest nations in the world, is readying itself to invest 500 million euros in Europe's largest solar plant. The plant will produce 100 megawatts of electricity, enough to power 40,000 households. And since the Vatican only houses some 900 people, the everyday Italians who live nearby will be able to enjoy some of this energy. While there have been some negative responses to this kind of spending in this kind of economy, the Vatican's stance is that investing in this project now will pay off big time in the long run. Besides, it has the money and sovereignty to do it, so screw what other people think, anyways.
(source=http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601085&sid=aO042nyR0px4&refer=europe)

HEADLINES:
But Did John Paul Read any of Fidel's Poetry?
A claim (somewhat outrageous): It doesn't matter who you are, everyone likes attention and everyone likes to hear about themselves.
Support for the claim (somewhat outrageous): A new book on Pope John Paul II's daily life, He Liked Tuesdays Best, tells a fascinating little anecdote about the 1996 meeting between the former pope and the former leader of Cuba, Fidel Castro. Apparently, not wanting to run out of things to talk about, Castro prepared for the meeting by reading many of the pope's teachings and poetry ahead of time. And it worked. According to Archbishop Mieczyslaw Mokrzycki, a secretary of John Paul's from 1996 until 2005, "The Holy Father... was very impressed."
He Liked Tuesdays Best, which been authorized by the Polish Roman Catholic Church, is based entirely on interviews with Mokrzycki. It sold more than 20,000 copies in its first week, and that's just the Polish version. An Italian version is soon to come, and there are talks going on now to get English, German, French, and, of course, Ukrainian versions published ASAP. Soon readers worldwide can read their languages' translations of "The nuns had to bring a cookie," Mokrzycki said. Intrigued? Then write to your local publisher and tell them to get He Liked Tuesdays Best in every bookstore across the nation post-haste.
(source=http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5j8hkBhiiL9cD5XYrhCSArb-WP19AD979OIKG0)

Space Pope Blog 2 + Vaticanews

2009-04-08T13:47:00.005-04:00

Hail!

Space Pope has updated her blog again, and because the Vatican is the country within a country that never sleeps, here's a fresh installment of Vaticanews:

Vaticanews 04/08/09

BULLETINS:
— Kalamazoo: Real Place, New Archbishop
For starters, Kalamazoo is a real place. It's in Michigan. It's the county seat of Kalamazoo County. Also, Pope Benedict XVI recently named Pennsylvania native Paul J. Bradley as the new Archbishop of the Kalamazoo Diocese. Bradley became the "chief shepherd of more than 100,000 Catholics" on Monday, after his predecessor, Bishop James A. Murray, submitted his mandatory resignation after turning 75.
(source=http://news.prnewswire.com/ViewContent.aspx?ACCT=109&STORY=/www/story/04-06-2009/0005001160&EDATE=)

— Does This Mean Tony Blair's Gay After All?
In an interview earlier today, Tony Blair called for a "rethinking" of the Catholic Church's views on homosexuality. Last year, Benedict remarked that saving humanity form homosexual behavior was just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction. Blair blames this on a "huge generational difference." However, Blair's only been a Catholic for the last two years, but he's always been a little... limp-wristed.
(source=http://uk.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUKTRE53759B20090408)

HEADLINES:
Despite Problems with Entire Nation of Belgium, Vatican Finds Strong New Ally in Welsh Lifting Firm
Most of the media attention on the Vatican recently has been focussed on the Belgian Parliament's vote to lodge the first official protest by a country against the Vatican in history. This protest comes as a reaction to the Pope's remarks that condom distribution in Africa would worsen the AID's problem. Bold moves on both sides.
But there's more to the Vatican than petty arguments with other sovereign nations about who said what to whom. The Vatican Museums' display niches, for example, are famously difficult to move statues in and out of. Luckily, the Vatican may soon be relieved of this tremendous stress, because earlier this week they signed as contract with Reid Lifting, a growing Welsh firm, to develop lifting systems which can more effectivly move the statues from niche to niche. Yes, lifting systems. Who knew?
This is not the first victory for Reid Lifting, which began as a "back-bedroom" outfit and now has an impressive 17 employees. Nor is it the first victory for the Vatican, which has a history and culture far too complex and mysterious to delve into now.
(source=http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/7978649.stm)

We're the Fools this April + Comic Con

2009-04-02T14:40:00.007-04:00

Hello all!

For those of you who checked out the blog yesterday, we understand you may be feeling confused, if not scared or perhaps a bit titillated. There is, however, an explanation for the silliness: Birthday Pope got ahold of our password and decided to have some April Fool's fun with us by posting a bunch of joke material. And to him we say, as always: Very funny, Birthday Pope. You rascal.

The thing is, if yesterday's posts hadn't been full of lies and sneaky excuses to use the trebuchet-firing minicannon (we almost lost our entire dairy farm yesterday when Birthday Pope got his hands on that) they might actually have been interesting, educational, AND hilarious--- the three key adjectives for any You & What endeavor.

So, inspired by Birthday pope's little prank, we thought today we'd launch the real Space Pope Blog here and the real first edition of Vaticanews, which you can read below. Here's hoping y'all enjoy it, and keep checking back for more of this kind of thing in the future.

Finally, You & What is heading to Boston's Comic Con this Saturday. If you're going to be there too, let us know, and we'll bring you a treat. We'll be the hot young lacrosse team with the devil-may-care look in their eyes, handing out flyers and htting on all the cuties. So keep your eyes and hearts open, and we'll see you there!

One love,
---You & What Productions

Vaticanews for 04/02/09:

BULLETINS:
— What Benedict XVI has in Common with Rock Concerts and Football Games
Black Friday shoppers, soccer fans, heavy metal audiences—these are the groups one usually associates with the phrase "trampled to death." But now, teenage Pope fans can be added to the list. As part of the last leg of his African tour, Pope Benedict XVI was supposed to speak at a youth rally in Luanda, Angola. However, as the gates of the stadium opened to let in the 30,000 youths who had gathered to see the pontiff speak, a stampede broke out and in the fight for the best seats in the house, two of the teenagers lost their lives. It just goes to show you that the old saying is still true today: If you have the power to make a lot of people do something crazy, crazy dancing is better than crazy running nine times out of ten.
(source=http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article5952029.ece)

— Club Flyer Banned for Image of Drunk Pope
A British nightclub called Club Fire recently produced a flyer to advertise the venue with a picture of the late Pope John Paul II dancing with a blonde woman and holding a bottle of beer. While this may well be what John Paul II is up to in Heaven, it is nevertheless a foolish and blatantly offensive move, and, no surprise, the advert has been banned by the UK Advertising Standards Authority. One more point for the censors, friends, and one fewer point for blonde women on posters everywhere.
(source=http://news.scotsman.com/uk/Advert-banned-for-picture-of.5133679.jp)

HEADLINES:
Pope's Feelings not as Important as Feelings of Some Committee of Theologians
Pilgrims from Poland have gathered in Rome this week to honor the death of John Paul II's on this day in 2005. Yesterday, Pope Benedict XVI addressed these pilgrims with a prayer for his predecessor's beatification, the first step to achieving sainthood. One would think that this public plea, coupled with the fact that Benedict already waved the usual waiting period back in 2005, would guarantee beatification for John Paul, but that is not the case.

It turns out that the Pope's opinions of other people, although officially sanctioned by God, has very little to do with those people's sainthood. Radio Vatican had an interview with Angelo Amato yesterday, the Vatican official actually in charge of claims to sainthood, and he said that a committee of theologians assigned to John Paul II's "case" in November 2008 was still reflecting on the matter. Until they've reached their decision, it would seem, the rest of the Vatican and the Catholic world will just have to wait.

This isn't keeping anyone from supporting the cause. John Paul II's close friend, former secretary, and difficult-to-pronounce-last-name-haver archbishop Stanislaw Dziwisz said he hoped to see this settled in the next several months. Italian film star, sexual icon, and strangely-accented-last-name-haver Sophia Loren wrote of her "devotion" to the late pontiff. And even Nobel Peace Prize winner and title-instead-of-a-first-name-with-the-first-name-next-haver Mother Teresa was mentioned in the article where we got this information.
(source=http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/world/04/01/09/pope-prays-john-paul-iis-beatification)

New New New from the Productions You and What!

2009-04-01T15:56:00.003-04:00

Happy April Fool’s Day!

Did you know that April 1st is a day where no one is born? There’s so much to see and learn about on April 1st. Did you hear that it’s the day Leaf Ericksfather and his sea Vikings discovered the Viking tradition of burning their dead? If anybody tells you it’s their birthday today, burn them.

I thought today would be a good day to introduce to you our new feature,

“Vaticanews”

Vaticanews brings you the latest updates straight from the Vatican.

Today’s bulletins:
• modern art will be let into the Vatican for the first time in five hundred years,
• cardinals announced yesterday that attack ferrets were being trained to defend the Pope and his blessed garments,
• and “There Is Nothing Wrong With Sneezing And Then Wiping Your Hand Under The Couch’s Arm,” say Vatican officials in response to Tanzanese political pressure.

Our top story of the day is very relevant: Popes can’t play April Fool’s jokes. That’s right, due to a new and ancient document discovered by pararcheodoxologists in the Gulf of Utah, it is believe that the last thing Jesus said to Peter, who was soon to be the first Pope of Earth, the first thing He said to him was, “Seriously, keep your act together. You’re the Pope now. Be cool. Don’t play. Don’t ever play, not even on - ” That’s where the scroll ends, but experts believe the next words out His mouth were, “April the 1st.” So there you have it, no April Fool’s jokes at all allowed to any Pope anywhere. Think about that.

Thus concludes another edition of,

“Vaticanews”

In closing I’d like to direct your attention to a new blog you should all start reading. It’s brought to you by a friend of ours named Space Pope.

Space Pope’s Blog

I like it a lot. Be cool. Don’t play.

- - What Productions, You?

Delay = Thunderbolts of Lightning, Very, Very Frightening

2009-03-28T18:41:00.004-04:00

Hello everyone,

You may have noticed that Snake Party has been up for a month. Don't worry, we're not secretly producing lots of awesome comics and not showing them to you. Although that is what we plan to do now. Here's the deal: Not having a backlog hit us hard when the economic crunch came, so to speak, so we're going to take some time to make sure we don't have delays in the future. Yes, this means a continuation of the current delay for about a month, but all swords are double-edged. Except like scimitars and rapiers and such.

However, while we're building this backlog of artwork, we're going to make sure to start bringing you new content within the week. Synchronize watches. You can be looking forward to news from the Vatican, some encyclopedic knowledge of the 6 or 7 Popes' universe, and firsthand content from the Popes themselves.

Hopefully that whets your taste buds, but that's not all we're doing with our time. You & Productions is excited to announce that we're working on a new web comic, Welcome to the Beatnik Factory, that brings the structure of a sketch comedy show to the web comic format. If this interests you and you are an artist, or you know any artists that might be interested, please get in touch with us at youandwhat@gmail.com.

So remember, fat-bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round.
---You & What Productions

"Pads For Bleeding"

2009-03-15T18:47:00.008-04:00

Hope you enjoyed the remix.

-Y&W P

Ghooooooostguard

2009-03-08T18:56:00.006-04:00

Here's a new strip remix for you, enjoy!

Quest

2009-02-24T02:32:00.004-05:00

Incoming!

New mini strip: This time the popes find themselves in the heart of a damp dungeon, questing after holy treasure. As they brave unnameable foes, Pope Benedict takes charge. The decision making process he employs is unrivaled in efficiency. Look on:

Will the Two Tiny Popes make roastbeest of the six meter killdebeest? Will Space Pope be found out for not touching her nose? Questions of the day.

Another question: Who wants to see what this is all about? The New England Webcomics Weekend appears to be the premiere east coast webcomics event, and it's coming up soon. We'll be sure to be there. Let us know if you're going, too! We'll probably have some kind of thing to give away to you.

That's all for now,

Y & W P

Steak Party!

2009-02-17T20:51:00.004-05:00

Hello hello,

Here is a fun alternate version of "Snake Party" for you!

- Y & W P

We want you!

2009-02-16T12:00:00.002-05:00

Hello everyone!

This week we are beginning our first tiny fundraiser, in an attempt to raise a little extra cash for the production of some cool posters/ads/other merchandise. So here's our offer, open to anyone for an indefinite period of time: send us 20 dollars, a photograph and some basic biographical information, and we will use you, yes YOU, as a character in an upcoming 6 or 7 Popes webcomic. Also, if you have any suggestions pr ideas about how, exactly, you'd like to be used in the comic or what you'd like to see yourself do/say, let us know, and we'll do our very best to satisfy.

Thanks y'all, and keep reading.

Later,
You and What

"Snake Party" and "Branches of Fitness"

2009-02-09T01:11:00.005-05:00

Ok, so it's another Sunday night/Monday morning, and we've got a new strip, "Snake Party," on the main site and a new minstrip, "Branches of Fitness," here, below:

Sorry we didn't pull off an Executive Branch joke. We toyed with the "Presidential Fitness Test" but it fell to the cutting room floor. We'll try harder next time!

See you then,
You and What

Kiddie Rides Mini-Strip

2009-02-01T21:41:00.016-05:00

Here's all the churches, here's all the steeples, here's another mini-strip for all y'all peoples.

They didn't find any kiddie rides, sadly, though they did find the "Whacky Ride-A-Child Cage," which they deemed inhumane. They promptly left the park, contacted the authorities, and spent the rest of the afternoon at the pet store in the mall. (At Birthday Pope's request.)

Only one week left until the next full color strip. And here's a sneak peek at the title: "Bnake Party". Up later today, guys!

-You and What

Ads For Reading

2009-01-26T05:22:00.004-05:00

Aha, Ahoo, Ahee-hee-hee,

Two new strips today, folks, both of the full- and mini- variety. If you haven't stopped by the 6 or 7 Popes Online Wares cafe press store, you should. As always, keep checking back for updates, and let us know what makes you laugh and what makes you want to puke.

Ah-choo,
Y&W

Stand Up Mini Strip and Store

2009-01-18T17:12:00.009-05:00

Here's a new mini-strip for you! We're starting a new schedule where we will be putting up a new mini strip every sunday right here on the blog, and we'll be putting up a full color/length strip every other sunday on the main page. Also the official 6 or 7 Popes Online Wares is now up and functioning. You can find it in the main site by clicking the store button or by goinghere.

Banana Ending

2009-01-13T14:51:00.002-05:00

Howdy,

First: Austin rules. Some of us were visiting last week, and we are very impressed with the capital of Texas. If you live in that area, check out some of your local comic shops; they rule as well.

Second: Our new strip is up, check it out. We should have some more mini-strip content soon, as well as a new full-length strip by next Sunday; this week, vacationing shouldn't be in the way of a timely update.

Howdy,

You and What Productions

Hellephant

2008-12-27T12:27:00.002-05:00

Hey everybody!

So our new strip, "Hellephant", went up today, and it is downright packed with action. Check that out on the main site, and come back next Sunday (Jan. 4) for the next exciting comic.

Also next week, You & What is taking a trip to Austin, so keep your eyes on the blog for news from the road.

Thanks for reading, and Happy Holidays from all of us to all of you.

-You & What Productions

Cleanliness and Godliness Combined!

2008-12-20T15:25:00.003-05:00

Hello all,

We've recently uncovered this ad for Roomba Pope. Unfortunately, after the disaster at the Popes of the Universe convention, Roomba Pope has been discontinued. Indefinitely... or at least until Vacuum Catholicism gets their act together and appoints a new pope. We apologize. Anyway, enjoy.

You and What Productions

Chutes and Ladders!

2008-12-15T11:37:00.003-05:00

Hey y'all!

So yesterday we put up the first of what will now be weekly strips, "Chutes & Ladders".

Please let us know what you think, and come back next Sunday and every Sunday from here on in for new adventures of the 6 or 7 Popes. Also, check out the new archive page, and stay tuned for all kinds of other treats on the blog and elsewhere. The semester's over, so we can all look forward to some good old fashioned Popetivities.

Thanks for reading,
Y&W

BBQ?

2008-12-07T23:16:00.005-05:00

Here's our first mini-strip, keep checking back until December 15th (when we'll update the main page with a new full-length/-color strip!)

We'll be doing more of these, so tell us which characters you'd like to see more of.

Welcome to 6or7Popes.com!

2008-12-01T02:13:00.004-05:00

Here it is!

The 6 or 7 Popes intro page! Over 6 or 7 thousand pixels in length!

Welcome everyone,

There's a lot in store. The superhero team of Popes has been all over an infinite universe, and they have many stories to share.

If you're getting here nearly after Dec.1, our launch, then you have about two weeks to peruse the intro page before another strip comes along and bothers you. If Dec.1 is long gone, then rejoice! It can't be long before another strip has come along to whisk you away. Remember: two weeks from Dec.1 (Dec.15) there will be another strip, followed by one a week, in regular webcomic fashion.

Keep checking the blog in the meanwhile, and please leave your thoughts about the intro page here, in the form of a comment.

Intro page. Intro Page. INTRO PAGE.

Thanks for coming. Tell your friends!

- - You and What Productions